The Shit Your BF Says or Does
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Category: Misc

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My boyfriend asked me if i was born without a sex and had to choose between being female or male, which would I choose. i said i would be female. He said, "yeah, me too, I'd stick so much stuff up my vagina it would be untrue."

#981
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Sep 27, 2012 10:33 AM - Misc - by Jamiexlou (woman)

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The other day I wrote a to-do list and left it on my BF's table. After he read it he said: "This is the most logical letter you have ever given me."

#963
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Sep 5, 2012 09:51 AM - Misc - by Ruhruh (woman)

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He says: "Fighting zombies wouldn't be totally awesome, but it wouldn't be the worst way to go out either. Just saying."

#959
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Aug 2, 2012 06:01 AM - Misc - by Tamarhino (woman)

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Boyfriend- "Is lady time over yet?"

#937
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Sep 5, 2012 09:48 AM - Misc - by Kate (woman)

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My boyfriend- "You're not stupid. You're a girl."

#936
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Sep 5, 2012 09:47 AM - Misc - by Kate (woman)

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While watching a movie I say "I like her dress" he replies "I like her face"!

#901
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Feb 4, 2012 12:18 AM - Misc - by Rhondamarie (woman)

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ShitMyBFSays.com Rocks!

#877
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Nov 6, 2011 08:06 AM - Misc - by Stickam (woman)

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We were showering together and I realized he was putting conditioner on his pubes and chest hair. He explained, ‘It’s important that it be soft and silky.’ He was totally serious.

#872
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Sep 29, 2011 06:01 AM - Misc - by Tara (woman)

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He said, ‘Baby I want to try something. Can I dump my oatmeal on you and eat it off your boobs?'

#871
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Sep 29, 2011 06:01 AM - Misc - by Kimmy (woman)

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On the first date, one guy said, ‘Do you mind if I break wind in front of you?

#870
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Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Sam (woman)

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Soon after we first met he said, ‘Please, keep your finger out of my butthole. Some chicks are freaky so I’m just getting it out of the way.'

#869
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Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Lisa (woman)

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My ex asked, ‘Did you know that glass is made out of water?

#868
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Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Jessica (woman)

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He calls my boobs ‘beerbs’ because when I gain weight, I get bigger boobs instead of a beer belly.

#867
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Sep 22, 2011 11:30 PM - Misc - by Sunny (woman)

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You know how some people call a bra an over-the-shoulder boulder holder? My guy calls mine a ‘pebble holder.'

#866
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Sep 22, 2011 11:30 PM - Misc - by Kathy (woman)

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When I told him my period was a bit late, he freaked out and exclaimed, ‘I knew BJs could get you pregnant!

#865
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Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

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My boyfriend once told me, ‘I wish I had a vagine. That way I would have a place to put things."

#864
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Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Jamie (woman)

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He said to me, ‘I can’t look at you when you have a pickle in your mouth.’

#863
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Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Tina (woman)

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He overheard me tell a friend I bought a DVF dress and later he told me he liked my 'DVDA' dress. I corrected him, but he said, 'Are you sure you don't mean DVDA? Double vaginal, double anal?' Uh, no I most definitely did not.

#862
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Sep 22, 2011 11:29 PM - Misc - by Marie (woman)

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The first time he saw me curling my hair (and apparently the first time he saw any girl curling her hair), he asked, 'How long will that last? A few months or until it grows out and you cut it?' He actually thought that using a curling iron might be permanent.

#861
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Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Elizabeth (woman)

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We were in bed hooking up. I was shirtless, but with my bra still on. Instead of taking my bra off, my boyfriend folded down the cup, revealing my nipple and exclaimed, 'Peek a boob!' What a mood killer.

#858
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He's A Keeper! (24) - Dump His Ass! (12)

Sep 22, 2011 11:24 PM - Misc - by Katie (woman)

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